Category: Joke Board
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but
it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the
CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "Start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates .
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says
'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the
monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
supermarket.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a, as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer: I can't get on the internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver
on my computer, but every time I move the mouse,
it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a printer problem.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under
a window, and his printer is working fine."
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And last but not least:
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle
of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the
Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
WoooooooooooooooooooW! Stop it! Those were absolutely ludicrous! A limit should be placed on ignorance.
These are amazing. Lmaooooo!
hahahahaha yeah, brilliant.
You know some of these are actualy true. Somewhere. somehow.
wow; brilliant!
can you imagine all the shit that tech support staff have to put up with on a daily basis? roflmao!
Omg this is actually pretty funny
what would i do with out tech support...
I couldn't stop laughing. Everytime I did, I saw another funny one. But I have three stories I've heard over the years. The first two come from a real tech support guy I knew. Someone called him and said, "I can't get the floppy disk into my drive. I even folded it and it won't go in." She was trying to fit a 5.25 inch disk into a 3.5 drive. Then, someone called him saying "the coffee cup holder on my computeris broken!" He was talking about the cd rom drive.
The other story may have been a joke but not sure. This person calls tech support andsays the computer isn't working. They go throughevery possible thing. "Is the keyboard plugged in? "Yes." "Is the monitor plugged in?" "Yes." "Is the computer plugged in?" "No..." lol
That's an epic fail. hahaha.